Hamptentions?


I’ve been putting it off forever, but I guess I can’t really stake claim as a nightlife writer if I refuse to discuss the Hamptons.

Memorial Day weekend is the beginning of the H-Madness that will continue in an obnoxious frenzy until Labor Day. Why it’s fun to lug yourself to Long Island, share an air mattress with three other people in someone else’s share house basement and go to a windy beach with freezing water while massively hung-over is unclear. It just is. Right? Or Wrong?

Let’s examine some of the pros and cons.

Hamptons Pros

Swimming Pools (yes!)

Sun (yes!)

Hot tubs (yes! yes! yes!)

Feeling like you’re at adult summer camp (camper activities: drinking, sunning, hooking up)

Bonfires (warm)

Cheesy events (countless!)

Leisurely walks and bike rides (if you can see straight, if all you can see is champagne don’t leave the sauna)

Group bonding (how can you not bond when it’s ten to a bathroom?)

Hot parties (depending on your definition of hot, but the NYC clubs definitely lose some of their weekend vigor)

Celebrity sightings (if you care)

The beach (if you’re cool with un-Mediterranean water temperatures)

Hamptons Cons

Transport / traffic (a logistics nightmare)

Lodging (bring your sleeping bag and prepare to be molested in your sleep)

Driving (yeah, someone’s gotta be sober)

Distance (stuff is far apart!)

Outrageously expensive cabs (*%$#@?)

Outrageously expensive everything ($8 croissants!?)

Nutty, rich people (somehow they’re on worse behavior in rural areas)

Very drunk people (the vacation atmosphere encourages people to ‘let loose’)

Dependency on others to go places / get around (this is usually my deal breaker)

Ridiculous ostentatiousness

Weird cell phone coverage

The inability to escape the people you’re with

Stuff that I don’t know if it’s a Pro or Con

Seeing everyone you know from Manhattan in beach attire

Going to every club you’d go to in New York ‘the Hamptons’ version

Living with people you’d usually just party with

More after my voyage there this weekend…

Miss Model Behavior’s the new nightlife writer for theBlaqlist.com. Feel free to post any nightlife comments or questions on our forum or contact her at MissModelBehavior@theBlaqlist.com

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