The words “Lily Pond” make me think of frogs, ducklings, lily pads, flowers and children’s literature. Interestingly enough, it’s actually the name of a nightclub in East Hampton. I got over my “What they were thinking?!” distress and decided I wouldn’t let the fact that the club sounded like a five-year-old’s favorite book prejudice my opinion. Yet trying to scope out the place with an open mind remained additionally challenging since Lily Pond’s rep at the poolside Hampton’s conversations I’d been eavesdropping on wasn’t positive. It seemed like I’d heard Hamptonite after Hamptonite hating on the place describing it as “a dump,” “Guido-central,” and “the worst night of my life.”

Yikes!

The snobs in South Hampton and beyond also complained about the club’s distance, describing it as “a long haul” compared to Pink Elephant or Dune.

I stayed in East Hampton this weekend around so the distance complaints were nixed. We were there in our insanely over-priced taxi in ten minutes. (Note: Taxi drivers in the Hamptons like to charge you ‘per head’ so they can make upwards of $100 dollars on inter-town rides. P.S. Meter’s are non-existent).

The backstory is that Lily inhabits the space formerly known as Resort. After a small fortune spent in renovations, it’s now the official brainchild of Unik Ernest (PM) and Michael Satsky (Stereo).

Outside was appropriately as mess just as any Hamptons club past midnight on a Saturday should be. I allowed myself to be herded through the entrance and found myself genuinely surprised by the layout before me. It was large! Almost spacious (for the Hamptons). And had real decorations ala Manhattan club with gold walls and chandeliers, unlike the pirate-y, sawdusty feel of Dune.

After apparently not having a lightening system set up Memorial Day weekend, the club’s now overcompensated by installing absurdly over-the-top mini spotlights. These rotating bulbs run up and down the room swirling varying shades of yellow, purple, pink and making it 100% impossible to discern if the object in front of you is man, woman, child or beast. So consider bringing sunglasses or nausea medication. Also, keep the random make-out sessions to a minimum because visual (and consequently mental) impairment is a certainty.



I’d always cited Pink Elephant’s status as ‘best’ Hamptons club on the fact that they were the only venue with a substantial outdoor area. Come to find out, this isn’t true. While Dune is an enclosed sweatshop, Lily Pond boasts an outdoor area. The music’s quieter out there and it’s definitely not where the best bottle service or action is, but if you want to escape the indoor madness, chat with or merely get a concrete look at a fellow partier, the outdoor space is a lovely option.

A mysterious female rapper gave a thirty minute performance which was bizarre and unexpected, then the DJ took over in what I considered a commendable job. Yes, the club was a madhouse and uncomfortably crowded, but that’s to be expected. What I found noteworthy was how the whole space had this unique, European feel. Nothing that classy but several steps above in ambiance compared to other Hamptons clubs. I left early since I just wasn’t drunk enough to fit in and wanted first dibs on a bed, couch or air mattress.

On the whole, Lily Pond - nowhere near as bad as the South Hamptoners made it out to be. These folks just might be resistant to change.

Tags: clubs, Hamptons, Mini Reviews, new openings, partying, summer fun, VIP

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