Case files closed on the Kiss & Fly cone saga (sort of.) I finally decided to have a serious chat with the bathroom attendant and almost tripped into the sink when she revealed that she ASKED someone to put a cone / cone(s) on the toilet.

“The toilet is not broken,” she emphasized in our chaotic interview. “The door is broken. You can’t close that door.” She pointed to the wooden panel that would seal off that bathroom, currently open and held in place by a trash can.

As per usual, it was too loud and sweaty with too many girls retouching make-up to prolong such an absurd conversation in an attempt to clarify. The gist of her rationale seemed to be that women had been trying to use that bathroom, but couldn’t close or lock the door. My questions:

a) Since when is privacy valued in a club setting? A place where girls share stalls and friends guard friends’ bathroom doors anyway?

b) Why can’t they get the door fixed? Geez. That would be even easier and less gross than repairing a toilet.

A new mystery revolves around this crazy vodka called Snow Queen. Can someone enlighten me about this beverage? In the dark, cradled in a bucket of ice, it looks suspiciously like Grey Goose. I guessed Snow Queen was some generic vodka Kiss & Fly economically chose to pawn off on promoter tables. It tastes frighteningly like nothing (allowing for unconscious mass-consumption) and gave me the worst hangover of my life. So I did some research and found that Snow Queen vodka’s the new quality product from Kazakhstan. According to their website and wiki, it’s also won some awards.

Side question: Who bestows liquor awards? I’m assuming a panel of judges who get to drink all day? That’s a great job.

So now I don’t know if Snow Queen vodka is super classy or super trashy. Is it the new Grey Goose or is it distilled from the tears and old bathwater of Kazakhstani senior citizens? Anyone who’s a liquor expert, fill us all in.

On a separate yet related Kiss & Fly note, this Go-Go girls’ outfit isn’t really working for me. I think the Kiss & Fly dancers had a much better things going for them when the feathers were on their chest instead of their rump.

Unreal!

Remember Dirt Nasty’s comedic video, posted last week, which pokes fun at everything eighties? The vid took Youtube junkies by storm, but now seems to be influencing real life fashion decisions.

I, for one, didn’t know whether to scream in delight or horror when I saw this young gentleman at Hampton’s Dune Saturday night wearing the gold chain a.k.a. Donkey Rope that Dirt Nasty wears and continuously references in his rap lyrics. Who wants to holler, “’I’m radical, T-shirt say party animal,” first? [Note chain similarity!]

Did our Dune dude wear the chain to the club as a joke? As a Simon Rex homage? As a reference to the video? Or is that really just what he considers a classy look to pick up broads on Long Island?

Who knows!

Also under the category of crazy, I felt it appropriate to exhibit this delightful photo. I’m deeming it the ultimate share house lifestyle photo of the month, complete with ‘guy passed out on couch.’

It’s never pretty the day after.

Just when you think you’ve seen all the weirdness NYC has to offer, you stumble across a party like this.

Dressed like a normal person and expecting another uneventful clubbing night out, I unsuspectingly found myself at the Kostume Kult and Disorient’s annual Black and Light ball at Comix, an experience which can only be described as “jaw dropping.” Different artistic projects took place throughout the party which ranged from a mock Vogue-style photo shoot to performance art involving laptops and wall projections, and body painting with spay cans. Then you had your rave areas in the large back room and downstairs.

The Kostume Kult goes to Burning Man every year, so the party doubled as a fundraiser for their camp. I have an endlessly fascination with Burning Man and suggest that anyone unaware of the tradition read about it here. Amongst the black lit carnival, I felt like the freak as I sipped an amaretto in a plain black dress among

-People with neon afro wigs larger than the circumference of my closet

-Naked couples wearing only body paint, sheathes, and nipple covers (my favorite were the orange leopards with gold tassels on their boobs)

-Dresses that left one breast exposed

-Transparent skirts that left vaginas exposed

-Colorful fake eyelashes long enough to be a fire hazard on the dance floor

-Enough glitter to fill an Olympic size pool

-More colors of pleather than I knew existed

I’d need to drop some acid in order to even come up with a costume as unique and creative as these folks did. I didn’t end up doing much partying as the visual fun of this circus kept me continually aghast. My friend and I spent so much time admiring the kult’s ensembles and postulating which couples had the craziest sex that we even forgot to drink! Imagine!

A video of what it’s all about here,

Miss Model Behavior’s the new nightlife writer for theBlaqlist.com. Feel free to post any nightlife comments or questions on our forum or contact her at MissModelBehavior@theBlaqlist.com