Everyone has their own going out style. Some like to make a theatrical production of the night with designer clothes, extras, cameras and mass texts. Others like to sneak out of their apartments at 1 A.M. without telling a soul. Some of us like to pregame profusely. Others nurse one drink the whole night.

This range of styles came sharply into focus for me after an increasing number of party arguments I’d experienced with one of my newer friends. The dilemma every night was essentially this: I wanted to go wherever my friends were going so that we’d have a table, home base, and people to keep an eye on us (safety in numbers). And she wanted to go someplace just her and I.

Apparently, I’m a pack mentality going out person.

She is not.

And I never even realized this about myself!

Maybe I’m an insecure partier, but I like to enjoy a club with all my friends around me (preferably multiple groups of friends around me) and usually with someone who’s acting as leader / entrance aficionado / alcohol provider. I find that this leaves me with less to worry about. Now if I’m going to a locale where I know the doorman and know how to procure free booze, I’m happy to break off into a smaller group. Otherwise, I’m a power in numbers person. Not to mention that I enjoy catching up and creating memories with my gaggle of friends.

My party style nemesis on the other hand continually points out that the large group slows us down, sometimes makes it longer to get in, is inconvenient for cab travel, requires us to keep track of everyone, and makes it our problem when Jenny pukes in the street. Most importantly she notes, it prevents you from meeting new people.

Me: It prevents you from meeting complete strangers. Strangers who are creeps.

Her: It prevents you from meeting new potential men, because we’re always with the guy friends and ex-flames of our group.

Me: I meet new people. I like to use my friends as a base and then branch off to look around.

Her: So you can’t even be in Pink Elephant with out a life raft?

Me: It’s better to meet new friends through friends. People you’re already connected to.

Her: That’s incest. Incest with baggage.

So who’s right?

Since it’s spring and we’re all hitting on each other, I wanted to take a quick moment to analyze some of the most common going-out pick up lines and why they’re effective, or not. Here we go:

“Hi, I’m _____.” This is straight forward, simple, and clear. So you think women might appreciate it. Wrong! This simple introduction tactic has never really worked for me. Not only is it unoriginal, it’s boring. It makes you a name instead of a person. Have you ever noticed that if you instantaneously get along with someone you practically forget to exchange names since you’re so into the endorphin-fueled chemistry that’s taking over your bodies?

“Can I buy you a drink?” Generosity is good. Offering to pay is chivalrous. But unless you’re approaching a lady who’s determined to get hammered, this line has the ability to scare women away. The offer to buy can make women subconsciously feel indebted to you. Maybe I’m a spaz, but I feel like a drink offer is just too commitment heavy for the first words out of your mouth. Realize that most women feel it’s necessary to make small talk with you until said drink has been consumed. Unless you’re doing shots, that could take fifteen minutes. If it’s become clear she wants to talk for an extended period of time regardless, then pull out the drink line.

“You’re beautiful / Do you know how beautiful you are? / You’re the most beautiful girl here.” Newsflash! If you’re using the word ‘beautiful’ in your pick up line you’ve already failed. Just go home and masturbate now. Insincere flattery will get you nowhere and if the girl truly is beautiful she knows it. You pointing it out will probably just make her uncomfortable.

“Do you come here often?” While boring and unoriginal, I think this is a safe and functional conversation opener. There’s no mention of money, buying things, sexual attraction or other ‘uncomfortable’ topics. This is a neutral question that promotes a conversation flow (ex: “Yes, I come here often, I live around the corner.” “No, first time. It’s my friend’s birthday.”)

“What are you drinking?” This may be my favorite. If you like the guy you can come up with a sassy answer and progress naturally to the buying a drink stage. If you don’t like him, you just tell him the facts (you’re drinking gin and tonic), smile, and easily get away.

“I like your MoJo / Growling / Other such absurdities.” If you can pull it off, go for it. The one good thing about weirdo pick up lines is that if they’re bizarre enough, you’ll get the woman’s attention from shock factor alone. Will she judge you for it for the rest of your conversation/relationship? Probably.

“Is that the sun coming up…or is that just you lighting up my world? / Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle / If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard / etc.” Everything in this pre-formulated pick up line category is bad. I’m not even going to comment.

What should women use on men? Well, I’m guilty of the point-blank awkward, “hey,” and the “what are you drinking?” line. If I’m really desperate I’ll talk to the guy pretending he’s someone I might know and then feign embarrassment / surprise when we actually don’t know each other. Cheap and lame, I realize. Suggestions? Comments? Feel free to add on your own.

Miss Model Behavior’s the new nightlife writer for theBlaqlist.com. Feel free to post any nightlife comments or questions on our forum or contact her at MissModelBehavior@theBlaqlist.com